a bit about moi

Things I Do Not Understand:
--the stock market
--anything having to do with my mortgage, escrow, retirement funds, etc.
--how people can see where the puck is when they watch hockey
--why public restrooms in the U.S. are so gross while in France they are pristine
--how electronics work (though I am good at setting them up and using them)

Things I Do Not Care About:
--philosophy
--religion
--complicated politics or world issues
--most stories about your pets
--baseball
--what you dreamed last night

Odd Things I Do Well:
--putting furniture together and hooking up electronic devices
--remembering precise details
--sleuthing
--solving cryptograms in the newspaper
--whistling
--picking out the perfect orange/tangerine

Things I Cannot Do:
--drink carbonated beverages
--snap my fingers
--pretend to like someone/something when I don't
--roller skate or ice skate
--watch movies about Vietnam or drugs
--watch TV ads about suffering animals or children

Things I Cannot Stand:
--people who text in movie theaters (I HATE HATE HATE people who text during movies--the light is so freakin' bright!!!)
--basic grammar mistakes (like when people say "between him and I" or when people spell "a lot" as one word or when people say "I played good.")
--having to wait
--listening to people bite their nails
--people who drive under the speed limit
--cilantro
--Oprah Winfrey
--people listing non-family members as family members on facebook

Things I Love:
--ice water, no lemon
--plantains
--singing
--reading really long books with complicated family trees
--gossip and being in the know
--being first in line at big movie premieres
--playing boardgames (except ones that make me have to wait too long for it to be my turn again, like Monopoly or Risk or Scrabble)
--cooking/baking
--Michael Landon as Charles Ingalls
--quoting movie lines with people who get the references ("It's good, it's good.")
--randomly using a word you know you've *never* used before
--suddenly understanding how an expression came to be or understanding in which context to use it
--laughing so hard you can't breathe
--doing the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle
--reality TV marathons