my first blog post ever

I've talked about starting a blog for a long time, but I've resisted until now because I don't really need yet another thing to obsess over every time I get on my computer. As you know (and if you're taking the time to read my blog, you probably know me well enough to know), I'm obsessive and competitive and obsessively competitive, and somehow I will turn this blog into a competition. I don't know how, but it will happen, just like how I can't stop doing the trivia quiz on goodreads.com because it's my goal in life to rise above #44 or how I can't stop saving movie ticket stubs because I've kept every single one since 1989 and can't quit now.

Anyhoo, here goes nothin.'

I'll start by saying that I'm really devastated right now. Throughout my life I have gotten attached to certain products only to have them cruelly taken away from me by the stores that introduced me to those products. The first loved-and-lost product that I can remember was the lasagna I used to eat at Ruby Tuesday when I was little. It came in this little bowl with the cheese all melty that crusted over the sides of the bowl. I loved that lasagna and would order it every time my parents and I would eat at the Ruby Tuesday that used to be on the Strip on UT's campus. Then one day, there was no more lasagna on the menu. And that was the end of relationship with Ruby Tuesday.

Then years later, Kellogg's came out with this amazing granola sandwich bread that was like eating cereal in a sandwich. I ate it faithfully for 2 years, and then one day in 1994, it was discontinued. Since then, I've been on a quest for the perfect sandwich bread, and I'm still bitter 16 years later.

Then Trident gum, my beloved Trident gum that I have chewed for probably 20 years, betrayed me in 2001, when not only did the company change its wrapper from a lovely red, green, and blue to a dull red and black, but it also changed the flavor of the gum. Trident claimed it was a "new longer-lasting enhanced flavor," but that was just fancy jargon for "synthetic-tasting." I stayed loyal to Trident, though, despite the weird taste change, and became attached to the new Clear Mint flavor in purple packaging. I chewed this gum for about a year, and then all of a sudden, I couldn't find it at Kroger. They still carried it at Target, but I'd been burned before and could read the writing on the wall--Clear Mint Trident wasn't long for this world. Sure enough, a few months later, it was gone. I went back to my old stand-bys, the spearmint and original flavors, and I've chewed them ever since, but I do so more because it's my trademark to chew Trident gum, not because I really love the gum.

Then came the hair gel travesty of 2002. L.A.Looks used to make this great hair gel perfect for my hair, but all of a sudden, they came out with a "new longer-lasting enhanced hold" gel that made my hair feel crunchy in a redneck 1980's kind of way. For people with curly hair, product is necessary, so I spent the next few weeks rationing my remaining hair gel and testing all sorts of new products. I eventually found a great replacement, but I didn't find that great replacement until perhaps 3 years ago. Until then, I did the best I could, but it was a rough couple of years for my hair.

Recently, I have had two more products yanked from shelves. The Dannon yogurt Light & Fit 60-calorie assorted snack-packs of strawberry banana and peach are no longer available. No explanation. And I'm sorry, Dannon, but the 80-calorie snack-packs that aren't assorted and that only come in packs of 4 and not 6 are NOT adequate substitutes--stop trying to rip me off!

But the coup de grace came just today. Here's the back story: a few months ago, the dinner rolls I have been eating for a few years (Perpente's Ciabatah rolls) disappeared from the shelves at Publix. I asked customer service to special order the rolls for me, so for awhile, life was good again. And then, a month later, it got even better when lo and behold, the rolls were back at Publix! Now this was a shocking turn of events. Never before had a product disappeared, only to REappear later on. And yet, there they were. I was ecstatic. I even called friends to share my good news. But I should have known that my luck wouldn't last. Several weeks ago, the rolls disappeared again. Once again, I went to customer service, and once again, they special ordered...or so I thought. Today I received a personal call from the head of customer service at Publix. He told me that he had bad news--the Publix region we're in, the Atlanta region, does not have permission to order the product anymore. I have no idea what that means or why. Why does one need permission to order dinner rolls? Why do some people in other regions get to enjoy the deliciousness of Perpente's Ciabatah rolls, while other people have to go without? Seems to me that if I want to buy a product I should be allowed to buy it. I mean, isn't this America???

In any event, I now have no bread and no yogurt to eat. What's next? Probably my perfume that I've worn since 1997. The last few years when I've gone to buy more at the Lancome counter, they've certainly had it for sale, but it's not one of the featured perfumes; it's behind the counter. That seems like a bad sign to me. One of these days, I'm going to be told that that, too, has been discontinued.

So if you ever become a big fan of a certain product, you might want to make sure it's not something I really like, too, because if it is, it's only a matter of time before it vanishes into thin air. I guess if there's a lesson to be learned, it's this: as I once said to my friend Amanda about a character in a book she hadn't finished yet, "Don't get attached."