For anyone who's not familiar with Ryan's Steakhouse, as it was called back in my Ryan's heyday when I was in high school, here's how I remembered the Ryan's Experience: you'd go in and stand in line and order from among the different steak options featured in the pictorial menu above the cash registers. Though the steaks would be brought to your table, everything else--from salads to sides to desserts--was served buffet-style.
I have some good and not-so-good memories of eating at Ryan's. I used to enjoy eating a nice medium rare 6 oz. sirloin with a baked potato and assorted sides. My mom used to enjoy loading up her purse with yeast rolls so that they "wouldn't go to waste." My sister used to enjoy eating the soft-serve ice cream until the day she noticed bats hanging from the eaves outside the window. And because she pitched a fit from that point on any time any of us wanted to go eat there, I never went back.
Until last night.
You'll notice from the sign that Ryan's Steakhouse is now Ryan's Grill, Buffet, and Bakery. That was our first indication that our trip down memory lane was about to hit a few detours. When we walked in, I expected to see the illuminated pictures of the various steak options, but nope, those were nowhere to be found. We were greeted by Sam, a very nice girl working the cash register, who of course had to explain the Ryan's procedures to me because I was thrown by the lack of steak photos. Sam assured me that I could still eat steak but that it, too, was now served buffet-style at the "carvery" station. Slightly skeptical about the quality of steak on a buffet, I was nonetheless determined to be a good sport. And I continued to be a good sport even when, as Sam was handing me my change, she said, "I apologize. I'm giving you a very questionably moist $5 bill." (That's a direct quote, by the way. I wrote it down so that I could include it verbatim in this blog. You're welcome.)
So here's the thing. I wouldn't say I'm a total germaphobe, though I do keep giant bottles of Germ-X in my car and in my classroom to hand sanitize every chance I get, but I will admit that the idea of the "questionably moist" money that had touched my hand coupled with the idea of handling serving utensils on the buffet that had been touched by lots of other people did affect my enjoyment of my Ryan's experience, but don't worry--I soldiered on.
On our first pass through the buffet, I made my faux pas of the evening when I carved my own piece of steak. I didn't realize that the one element of classiness at Ryan's is that there are professional carvers who will serve your steak when you come up to the buffet. As it so happens, the carver had stepped away from the station when I got there and wasn't pleased that I had appropriated his carving knife. Oops. In any event, he did carve steak for Jenny and offered to carve some for Holly, our other dining companion, after telling her it was "unicorn meat." Idk. Holly opted for the ham.
The sides were not great, other than the yeast rolls, the corn, and the cornbread. I also enjoyed the broccoli because it was way overcooked, just how I like it. We all agreed that the popcorn shrimp was too salty. Holly really liked her ham. My steak was exactly what steak served on a buffet would be: overcooked and a little tough. But when your entire meal costs $11.99, can you really expect anything better?
Then, as you do at an all-you-can-eat buffet, we went back for round 2. I got more cornbread, which for me was the best part of the whole meal, and a piece of sausage. Jenny got an entirely new meal.
She said the fried chicken was good.
After round 2, we were pretty much done. None of us partook of the Mexican bar (which didn't used to exist), the barbecue options, the soups, or the food that looked vaguely Chinese. We just couldn't eat that much; besides, we had to save room for dessert.
The dessert bar had several options. Though Jenny and Holly made the wise decision to go directly for the soft-serve ice cream, I initially took what I thought was a ramekin of hot apple cobbler and topped it with the soft-serve ice cream, and I also took a carrot cake to taste. I took one small bite of that carrot cake before determining that it was the worst carrot cake I had ever tasted and then took a bite of my apple cobbler before realizing that it was peach cobbler which I don't like. So I ended up abandoning both desserts and just getting some ice cream. It was no hot fudge cake from Shoney's, but it was pretty good.
When I told one of my students the other day that we were going to Ryan's, he said, "Oh, I threw up there!" I wouldn't go that far, but it's not likely that I'll ever go back to Ryan's. The food was just not that good, certainly not worth a 50-minute drive. What was worth the drive, though, was the opportunity to be in a different environment from the one I'm in on a daily basis. Indeed, the most interesting part of the eating at Ryan's was actually the racial and ethnic diversity of our fellow diners. It made me realize just how little diversity there is where we live, something the three of us noted last night. In the end, then, I'm glad we made the trek.
Stay tuned for the next blog installment. We figured that Ryan's was our one "steakhouse" stop, our stand-in for all the Bonanzas, Ponderosas, Western Sizzlins', and Golden Corrals out there. We think we might be headed to Piccadilly's Cafeteria next because we apparently don't get to eat often enough in a cafeteria. Feel free to join us!
In the meantime, we really should probably start stocking up on quarters--of the unquestionably dry variety, of course.
If you want a menu with photos of the food check out Red Lobster. We were there last week for an office lunch and their menu was huge - only because they seemed to picture every item on the menu.
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